am i happy ?

am i happy ?
well, i guess i am..
but deep down, am i ?

it's been almost a month now
i thank God that when i go back hometown
i never get to see you
not even your family
but i must say, i missed ur family

i'm always scared to go out in crowded places now
scared that i'll see u, or the other way round
you are an evil person!
but i still cant hate u,
for i loved u once
guessed this is why i still can't let go
let go of those memories!

still, i'm happy!
family and friends uphold me
i'm still broken pieces,
still needed time..
time to join those cracks and torns
again, how long do i really, really need?
i pray to God,
"may it be now"

for i have promised myself:
i will be happy and cheerful again!
the old Catherine will return